Monday, June 15, 2009

Wedded Bliss...

...does it really exist??

I spent much of my drive home tonight thinking of all of the things I wanted to blog about and how I wish I had more time to spend writing. I just genuinely love to write. It started as soon as I got the hang of writing all the letters of the alphabet and putting sentences together....I think I started writing books and silly stories immediately. Throughout my years in school, I was constantly told that I was writing at levels far beyond my years. So, why didn't I ever consider a career as a writer or journalist?...maybe even an editor? I really have no idea.

Anyway, so as I was driving home my mind was just racing about all the stuff I'd love to sit down and write about, but seriously do not have the time to do! Then I remembered that I needed to do something for one of my BFF Alex's upcoming wedding and today was the deadline! Hold the phone...I better get cracking! I can't spill the deets b/c it would give away a fun surprise (alex, if you're reading!) So as soon as the girlies were off to dreamland, I sat down with a glass of wine to reminisce. One of the tasks required me to contemplate marriage a bit....hmmm, so does wedded bliss exist?? My answer?...No, not in a long lasting, healthy and mature relationship. Marriage is hard work, well worth fighting for and while I was on-line I found this post below. Well written and well said!!! Let's put to bed the unrealistic expectations that marriage should be all roses and butterflies and rainbows...maybe then the divorce rate would not be as high as 50%.

Marriage is Hard Work

Posted byCynthia PetersonMay 1, 2007
Long after the vows are exchanged and the rice thrown, two people are left to face life together as a team. They have promised to hold their love sacred, forsaking all others. Announcements of staying together for better or for worse, for richer and for poorer have been declared. How is it then that most marriages end in divorce?
I believe that couples tend to focus on the day (wedding) rather than on the commitment (marriage). More preparation goes into the celebration than the union. As a result, when the dust settles and daily life ensues, boredom, frustration and disillusionment set in.
Marriage is hard work. The feeling most identify as “love” or “being in love” is more closely related to “lust”. The passion, the fire, the instant chemistry felt at the beginning of a relationship does not last much longer than the honeymoon. Real “love” is built on trust, daily living, predictability and loyalty. It occurs over time and fully matures as the couple grows together through life’s challenges.
If a relationship is based on the fledgling immature love enjoyed at the onset of a relationship and never matures past that stage the outlook for the marriage is not good. It takes time, dedication, patience and selflessness to nurture a marriage into maturity.
You may not always feel love for your spouse. Do not let that deter you from working on your marriage. Love is not only a “feeling” it is a decision that you make everyday.

I just couldn't have said it any better....and the real thing is honestly so much better than the fantasy!

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Marcy B. said...

This post brought tears to my eyes as I have thought about the last 7 years married. I agree fully about how hard it is and we compound it with the addition of kiddos. We just have to be thankful that our partners still want to work on it as much as we do.

Kimmy said...

I remember when Ellie used to be like that. Actually she still can be sometimes!

I remember one time when she was just about Josies age, she would not lie still so after many attempts to change her diaper, I finally straddled her stomach and put her diaper on facing upside down. It was a task but it worked!! Gotta love that stage!! :)