Facebook Is Down

Facebook is having a meltdown. A tantrum, it's tired. With 1/2 a billion users worldwide, it's just had enough. What are we all going to do??...start twittering? Or maybe actually be productive at work?? Today, most users are apparently just getting a "Service Unavailable" failure message and the on-line social world has pretty much come to an end. I know because this is my favorite time of the day to be on-line!! I'm home from my day checking email, doing paperwork and am not quite on mommy duty yet. Seems like my 4 o'clock social hour will just have to wait til tomorrow. Wonder how many people out there need a valium without access to their beloved Facebook page? haha. You may have to actually go outside and talk to someone. Oh the horror!!! It's ok, I'm sure mega bagillionaire Mark Zuckerberg will have his baby up and running again soon.

Just To Clarify...

No, I have no idea who "visits" this website! I just received an email from a friend (you know who you are) who is starting his own blog and wanted to know what tracking system I use and if I can see who is visiting....either that or he is actually stalking me and doesn't want me to know...haha, joking!! Unless, are you? ;)

No really, I use Google Analytics and it's just basic info. I can see how many hits I get and from what web broswer (Internet Explorer, Firefox, Safari, etc) and that's about it really. I can also see how many pages on average are visted and the average length of stay. But, I have no idea from who or where the hits are coming from. And I am nowhere near 100 hits a day, not even close...but enough that I keep writing! ;) So, go on stalker friend and stalk away!! haha..again, I joke.

2 posts in one day...i'm gettin' crazy.

Wait, What? I'm 30?

...or 32, same thing. Right? Is 30 the new 20? And will 40 be the new 30 and so on? God, let's hope so. This morning my doorbell rang and it was the UPS guy delivering my first wine package from last weekend!! He immediately stated that someone over 21 needed to sign...I laughed and asked him if I looked 21...he said "around that". I seriously wanted to lunge out of the doorway and plant a big smacker right on his cheek. But instead I laughed, told him I had 2 kids and was in my 30s. He is now my favorite person of the month....I wanted to tell him how much I love him...he's lucky I didn't start making out with him! haha...kidding, of course!! But it got me thinking about being 30 and what comes with it...I'm learning quickly what's good and what's not so good about this decade. Let's start with the obvious. I'm getting older...not old, but older for sure. I'm not a young little thing anymore (even though I may try to be at times) and I do not look 21, that guy was delirious. My body is different, a little slower, doesn't listen quite as well and is a little less resistant to abuse. :)

But at the same time my head is clearer, I'm wiser and more confident, more secure. At some point I became more mindful, more present and more aware of my effect on others...just like a deeper self intuition or something. I don't really know how to describe it, just stuff I would have never cared about or thought of in my mid 20s. Probably stuff that would be good for later posts...stuff that you could write a whole book about, or for me at the very least an entire post on.

I've also noticed that in our 30s the dating dynamic has changed drastically. I have a good friend, he's 35, single and still trying to find someone. Recently he went out on a date with a girl and instantly liked her, she had it all. But toward the middle of the date she tells him that she has a child. So, at 25, any guy would go running the other way. At 35, it's different. This didn't seem to phase him I guess maybe it becomes more the norm when dating a woman in her mid 30s. By mid to late thirties, people just have baggage....ex spouses, children, ex fiancees, etc. The divorces start rolling in one after the other...I found out a couple weeks ago that a friend recently filed for divorce, which I hear more and more. Which brings up this question about marriage...Is it really natural for human beings to be committed to only one person for their entire lives? Looking at the history of marriage (which I have...and it's fascinating) and as a man made institution, I just wonder at some point if it will cease to exist. But, again, this is a topic that deserves it's own post...sorry for the digression. Back to dating...it's seems to me that people in their 30s are looking for something different, something real. It's not about the surfaced stuff from your 20s, like "we like the same things" or "we look good on paper". It's about connection and a much deeper level of communication. The kind of connection that doesn't happen with just anyone....perhaps with a chance of lasting a lifetime.

So, 30s just feels different. Here's to getting better with age! :) Cheers...(I'll be clinking my wine glass a little later to myself as I bust open my wine delivery). haha

Blocked

Somehow I've managed to develop a case of writer's block, an affliction I have yet to endure. I love to write and typically (when I have time) the words can't come out of my head fast enough. And for those of you who know me well, you know I'm like this in conversation as well. I can talk to a brick wall for christ's sake...so what is this thing? It's annoying, that's what.

But, I think I know why. I think I'm wishing this blog were anonymous. I mean, how much can you really say when everyone reading knows who you are? I feel like I have to watch every little word I type. It's not like I want to blog about terrible things or anything crazy, but a lot of times I just want to be honest about stuff. And let's face it, some people just can't handle the truth. So, I have to watch what I say, avoid certain controversial subjects and I can't ever discuss issues going on with individuals in my life because they would know who they are. Right this instant as I'm typing, I can think of a couple entertaining and very bloggable situations in my life, but I don't want to deal with the wrath that would be putting it out there for all the world to read. So it stays locked up.

You all know I tend to leave the filter off my mouth at times...I say it as it is and I say it as I see it. What you see is what you get...yea, true, but only to some degree. There is still a ton of stuff floating around in my head that only I know. And I'd love to share b/c I love to share, but unfortunately (or fortunately) I think I may have to wait till we're one-on-one.

I guess this isn't quite like a diary, is it?

Soul Mates

So, last night over a few drinks and good company I found myself deep in the neverending debate about the existence of soul mates. Do they exist and if so, who are they? The pop culture definition of soul mates is one of romance...your one and only, we were meant to be, the Romeo and Juliet effect. Most people never stop to truly understand what a soul mate is, so the term is used loosely without much meaning. It's also typically used to define just 2 people in this world who are meant to coincide, who were made for each other, just those 2. My friend included has fallen into this cultural stereotype. And frankly, I have to respectfully disagree.

I don't believe at all in soul mates the way the masses define the term....that there's only one person out there for you that was created for you. I mean, really, if this were the case, we'd all be walking around lonely and depressed because with almost 7 billion people on the planet, the chances of us running into our one and only soul mate are slim to none....basically never gonna happen!!

But, it's not that I don't believe in soul mates, because I do. I just think of them differently. I believe that all of us have an abudance of soul mates out there. I also believe that the term "soul mate" does not have to refer to a romantic partner or spouse. A soul mate could be a friend, a parent or even someone you barely know. To me, a soul mate is someone that you connect with, have a strong sense of familiarity or perhaps even someone you feel a strong affinity for. Let's face it, we don't "connect" with everyone. So think of those individuals in your life or in your past that you felt instantly connected to. I can think of a few in my life and when I think of these people, I have a strong feeling of familiarity, comfort and connection. It's almost hard to describe and in each case these feelings came quickly, if not instantly. Those are my soul mates. To me, a soul mate could be anywhere at anytime.

So, if you're out searching for your one and only, maybe you should stop, slow down and pay attention to all the people already around you.

This Post Has No Title...

There comes that time in every parent's life when their young child comes to them with the age old question..."Mommy, how are boys and girls different?". However, tonight it came out of Anna a little like this...

As I am drying her off after her bath...

Anna: "Mommy, what are those things that boys have?"

Me: "What do you mean? What things?"

Anna: "You know those things that boys have and girls don't have...they're like this"...and she now proceeds to use some hand motion to try to explain to me that she is talking about a penis.

Me: I AM TRYING TO INHALE MY GIGGLES, so I can't speak at all. Trying to seal my lips shut so not even a smile escapes. It's not that she's asking me the question that's funny, it's the way she is asking it...and it gets worse. So now she is just staring at me, waiting for an answer when she says...

Anna: "You know, mommy...those things....they're like trunks!"

Ok, now, let me just be clear that we have had the boys have penises, girls have vaginas discussion before. But for some reason she must not have been listening because as I proceed to explain this to her she just looks at me mesmerized, as if she has just uncovered the worlds greatest revelation.

Something tells me this time she won't forget.

Mommy Dearest

Yesterday, one of my dearest friends became a mommy for the first time to little Abigail Katherine. No, that's not her pictured above...although that appears to be the cutest baby alive, baby Abby is actually much cuter.

So, naturally this brought me back to my own early days of mommyhood. There really is no way to prepare yourself, is there? I mean, you can take all the classes, do all the right things, have one of everything stocked at Babies R Us, but when that baby take his/her first breath you suddenly realize....you're about as prepared as you are when the teacher yells "pop quiz" and you haven't so much as peeked at your text book.

Becoming a parent is arguably the biggest change one will ever endure and in my mind tops the list of all major life events...including getting married and even the stress from the death of a close family member. Becoming a parent shakes you to your core and simply changes you forever. It's true that becoming a parent opens up a whole world of feelings that you didn't know you were capable of. So, how could you possibly prepare for something that you didn't even know existed? The answer? You can't.

So, I laugh thinking back to those first few weeks...not really sure how to even put one foot in front of the other, not knowing whether I was coming or going and really having not one other care in the world that didn't revolve around this little 8 lb child. Days, weeks and months went by when I didn't put her down. Trust me, not by choice. Let's just say that Anna came into this world knowing what she wanted. We even have ultrasound video of what appears to be her crying in the womb. So, as soon as she got a chance to actually use those little lungs, it was all over.

But, we survived what I thought would never end and now 4 years have passed and I'm left wishing I could have those days back.

Well, maybe just 1 of them.